What men should know about being lied to.
In our daily life lies accompany us at every turn. Politicians shower us with unrealistic promises, producers of goods in adverts shamelessly exaggerate the dignity of their products, and business partners substitute facts to snatch a lucrative tender and the pretty girl from yesterday's party lied a little about her age ... and so on to infinity.
Yes, it happens that people lie to you in order to protect or not to offend, to flatter or seem more attractive. There are a lot of little harmless lies around us, which we don’t even notice, but sometimes false information brings disastrous consequences. How to recognize that someone is lying to you? How to react (or not respond) to a lie in different situations?
In this article, our experts will conduct a small "excursion" that’ll help you avoid many troubles. They say that in a live talk it’s easy to recognize a lying person (if he/she is not a professional actor) by body language and facial expressions. So a violation of eye contact is one of the obvious signs of lies.
If someone repeats your question, if he/she thinks for a long time what to answer, fidgets in a chair or covers his/her face with a hand (touches him/herself by the nose), then most likely he/she is telling a lie. But in any case, there’s no single "recipe" for all cases when they lie to you. So let's look at some of the most common cases of the lies.
What if someone’s lying at work .
Business and financial relations are the field that provides many ways and opportunities to conceal the truth or lie for the sake of profit. Using the already mentioned signs you can “read” an unreliable business partner. But when making deals, the so-called “silent lie” is often used. When, for example, the equipment supplier doesn’t mention its shortcomings, sticking out its advantages. Or a representative of the bank paints in front of you only the unconditional benefits of the loan without mentioning the amount of commissions and interest. You should be on your guard right away if the other person starts speaking quickly and in a “friendly” tone.
Translate the conversation in a constructive way, asking “killer” questions like “This is the equipment of the generation before last, isn't it?” or “Could you tell us about the hidden fees for this loan?”. This may provoke your interlocutor to open before you those sides of his goods or services that he’d like to hide. So you can find out the truth and not get caught on the tricks of a liar. If your partner avoids direct answers, turns the conversation to another topic, don’t give him any promises and don’t allow you to incline to a hasty decision.
In this situation, you can simply say “thank you very much, but I’m not interested”. If you hire a new employee and notice that he’s lying during the interview (even if it’s a distortion of non-key facts), think a hundred times if you can rely on him.
What to do when someone’s lying at home.
According to experts, our family life is saturated with lies. It sounds misanthropic and rather frightening. But in reality, there are minor distortions of the truth and silence that are more akin to compromise for the sake of peace in the family than real deception. For example, your spouse slightly “diminishes” the price of a fashionable sweater or doesn’t tell about the misdemeanors of the child or “lies” that she feels good not to upset you.
When returning home late at night, the teenage son invents a story about what happened to him, this is an obvious childhood lie and it occurs only in a house where there is excessive severity and control. Worst of all when your loved one badly lies to you. If you’re jealous (often without cause), then this substitution of truth may be a defensive reaction of a person who doesn’t want a new scandal.
If your beloved woman lies rather often, it’s really a sign of a relationship crisis. Make spiritual contact, just spend time with your family, be friendly and understanding, and this will significantly reduce the risk of lying harmful to you and your relationship.
How to tell if someone’s lying to you online.
Nowhere do people lie as often as in online contacts. And it is all the more sad that we spend most of our time on the global web. Yes, a banal situation when an employee of an online store lies to you about the quality, reliability or speed of delivery of the product. Such things need to be monitored and reported on the forums so that other buyers aren’t caught.
But when it comes to online dating, there’s a huge scope for lies. People often lie on dates and for various reasons. But it’s not easy to track whether a stranger whom you haven’t met in person tells you the truth. We communicate and fall in love on the Internet and it can either please us or hurt us. You can’t even doubt that most of the profiles placed on dating sites slightly distort their data to attract and have more choice.
Girls subtract two or three years of age, or 3-5 kilograms of weight, they can upload a photo five years ago. Men often lie about their incomes or sports hobbies in order to appear steeper. But if you like the girl, then small details become clear on a live date. It’s worse when he/she lies that they’re single and actually survived a divorce.
But it happens that a girl lies when she meets online for the purpose of fraud. Tactics of cheaters can be different. For example, they can (after reading your profile) write first demonstrating similar interests, they can force events depicting passionate love at first sight. Usually their photos are gorgeous. Check to see if there are any on the Internet under a different name. An alarm for you should be when a girl begins to ask for monetary support and at the same time she “doesn’t have video chat now”. Serious dating sites always check their girls profiles, but you should be careful and at least don’t send money and don’t give personal data if you’re not sure.
How to react to a lie?
The hard question is what to do if a girl lies to you. If this is the first date, the experts offer at least three options to choose from: you can pretend not to notice, you can catch your interlocutor in a lie and politely point it out, you can emphasize in a conversation that you like truthful people and you prefer trust in a relationship.
In any case, if the girl clearly lies on the first date, then the second is unlikely to follow. If you’ve been dating for a long time or are married and your beloved is lying to you, the main thing that you shouldn’t do is an ugly quarrel about it. Decide how much you value your relationship, be calm, sort things out. Perhaps you have a lack of mutual trust and you need to discuss together whether your love has a future.
If your child or a friend is lying to you and you notice it. Decide for yourself how serious (dangerous) this lie is. Do not rush to arrange a "police interrogation" or lose your temper. Calmly point to the "inaccuracies" in the conversation, apply logic and a sense of humor.
People lie often and for different reasons. Don’t make this a global tragedy, but, it is not necessary to be silent. Don’t pretend to be a gullible simpleton in cases of serious lies from whom it would not proceed. And most importantly, be careful and don’t fall for the liar's hook. And don’t be afraid to chat and love live and online. And let your relationship be free from lies!