If you like Washington Post probably you have read the article Men really need to stop calling women crazy posted recently by Harris O’Malley.
The issue is that he emphasized the word “crazy” and considered it to be an adjective of the same position as “bossy”, “slutty”, “whore”. These words are used to affect and to wing a woman, it’s like getting under her skin. Basically men experience some difficulties after break up, like “going though this situation” or “emotional” and etc. but as a rule they never mentioned as “crazy”. This word today has two meanings and we need to remember this.
However another adjective about men is popular as well – “dicks”. So these two words are considered to be used in the act of breaking up. Here is the situation with a best friend of yours who burns bridges with her boyfriend, they’ve been together for many years, she shares her concerns and complaints about how terribly hard the things went on. The best way for you to support and to comfort her is saying: “Oh come on, babe, he’s a real dick and you deserve the best!” And forget about, live on. However the problem is while discussing a man as a guilty side with a woman in position of a victim, witnesses obviously do not have any particular vision of the true situation, mainly about men as dicks. And quite the opposite side for women as crazy things. This is rude and offensive and probably by using these adjectives you give your estimation with no real proof, facts and details, your emotions only. Buy they are based on only your friend’s suffering state.
Let me mention that men and women have different emotional needs and we cannot say that women have some kind of a mental disease. It comes from obtrusive and tiresome emotional situations when a woman needs another way of communication. But she is not ill mentally, she just needs understanding and acceptance. Probably this is our modern and fresh parlance no one knows why and how it came from but it’s better to remove this adjective from your regular dating vocabulary.
At the same time there is no explanation why it is good to associate one’s not probably good behavior with a part of a man’s body. Oh, God, your man blew you off? He’s a real penis. So do you see the usage of this word instead of coward or yellow-bellied? It takes negative connotation into two other words but did not explain the attitude of the situation. Again this is offensive and ridiculous. The usage of obscene words for undetermined situation leads to endless negative connotation of other words as well. Supposedly, this is quite interesting about a dick and a crazy, isn’t it? Just imagine a pub and a group of males sitting together and call a female (waitress probably) as someone starting with letter C.
Anyway, in case the author offered specific complain he also offers eventual solution to make a proper exchange. For example below there are several adjectives we can use for a person who treated us badly:
- Very unkind
- Distant or past
- At different point of view
- Nothing in common
- A terrible communicator
- Not ready to be in a committed relations
- Not for you
- Emotionally unavailable
We can agree that all these forms are long, inconvenient and descriptive instead of simple one word however they are not offensive and are to be used unrestrictedly. They explain and describe the issue shortly so that your interlocutor accepts the situation and takes your attitude not offending another person. Who knows, maybe your break up is not the end, so how will you be warranted with the situation of a sudden renewal of relations? Besides avoiding such negative effect phrases you save English language from demeaning, it is better enrich but not reduce our emotional framework. We can live without “dicks” and “crazy”. Our vocabulary can be stronger, complicated with good adjectives and we will be able to lead the conversation without any MF***s disturbing your private life.