Tips and tricks how to move on after rejection.
According to experts, the refusal of the beloved has always been and is the most tangible psychotrauma that a man experiences in his life. The pain one can feel in this situation often has a paralyzing effect. Moreover, the risk of rejection is always present even in relationships that initially develop quite smoothly.
Let's say— you met a beautiful and smart girl on a dating site, you managed to get her interested in funny photos and witty conversation in online correspondence, you had the good fortune to talk in video chat several times and even agreed your first date live; inspired by hope you came to see your beauty and ... oops you are denied after the first date. Your lady, saying that she’s not ready for a close relationship, literally “disappears from ether”. She does not answer your phone calls, ignores all messages. And here you are overtaken by this bitter feeling called “I was rejected”.
Having many years of experience in the field of dating, we, the UaDreams team, faced in our work both happy love stories and cases of refusal. After reviewing the profiles of Ukrainian ladies and our foreign male members we developed several useful tips for guys on how to survive a rejection and move on.
Adrie: Do not afraid to try for love, be afraid of not trying
When I arrived to Kiev the translator and driver welcomed me warmly and I liked that.
UaDreams translator was very helpful from telling how much money I should prepare for taxi and food to even calm me down when I was nervous.
The trip was very wonderful, nice experience and I had a fantastic date with an amazing woman.Do not afraid to try for love be afraid of not trying.
Do not rush to despair.
Yes, the situation is difficult and stressful. But still you should not follow the first impulse and immediately fall into despair or enrage. Do not rush to draw conclusions. Try to mentally “step aside” from what happened. Tell yourself: “I'll think about it later”. Take a pause for a couple of days and do nothing with all of this. Perhaps during this time something will change for the better or clarify. If not, at least now you can more soberly assess the magnitude of the disaster and outline further actions to save your heart.
Try to analyze what happened.
After you stopped and was able to observe the events “from outside”, it's time to analyze what went wrong. Perhaps you were too restrained or assertive and your interlocutor "closed" because of confusion or embarrassment. Maybe one of you was late, and the other tried to hide his/her irritation. You may have been constantly distracted by phone calls or messages from relatives, or simply the time and place for a date were not chosen very well. In short, the causes of your love tragedy could well be random external events and not your incompatibility.
Accept the situation — it has already happened.
Having considered the possible reasons for the refusal, you cannot begin to solve the problem without accepting it as such. If you acknowledge that this really happened (you were rejected by the girl), then the next step may already be the search for solutions. After all, the courage to accept that what has happened has happened — this is already half the solution to the problem. As a result of this internal work, you can again try to call or write an adequate message to the lady who pushed you.
It's not your fault.
If you did not succeed in correcting the situation, then even greater mistake would be to blame yourself for everything that happened. Your self-esteem has already suffered from rejection. So, you shouldn’t make yourself worse by your own, proving to yourself that you are a fool or a loser. This is unfair and harmful to your emotional health. In fact, the personal qualities of the man never were the main cause of refusal. But it often happens because of an accidental misunderstanding or psychological incompatibility.
Try to love yourself and move on.
If the refusal made you feel unloved and rejected, do not allow yourself to remain in this state. Remember that you have many reasons to love yourself and respect. Our experts even advise to write down five of your main advantages on a piece of paper and attach it in a prominent place at home. Don’t stay alone with your grief. Plan to spend the evening in a pub with close friends (nothing cures a broken heart like this). And yet, the guy who lived through the rejection has something to be proud of — after all, it was an attempt to find true love, and many did not even try! So, refusal of a girlfriend is not the end, but rather a step forward, because only by completing the old relationship, you can start a new one!
Remember: the ability to minimize psychological damage and self-esteem will help you to recover after rejection and move on. Anyway, there are no people in the world without faults. Be indulgent towards yourself and others. If you’ve not yet been fortunate enough to meet mutual love, then everything is still ahead of you. Try to place your profile on the dating site UaDreams, meet a charming Ukrainian girl. Who knows, maybe she is your one and only. You just need to believe in your luck and it will definitely smile at you.