In our dynamic time, when you’re looking for your happiness on dating sites or apps, not only sudden unearthly love can happen to you, but also a lot of new-fashioned troubles. One of these is the situation under the capacious name “cloaking”. So what is it?
Imagine that on a dating app you meet a pretty person, your interests coincide, her sense of humor delights you, you flirt and sweetly communicate for a while, then you set a date for a meeting live and with thrill wait for a first date and ... oops ... nothing happens. Moreover, your “dream” removes the profile and the entire history of correspondence (as if there was nothing) and just disappears (completely and from everywhere ! !!) without any explanation.
It may be blocking a phone number or banning you on social networks (depending on the method of contacts). And you’re left alone, painfully guessing what happened after all. Keep in mind, most likely you are a victim of cloaking. Want to talk about it? Let's try.
Why do people cloak in 2023?
The Internet is a great tool to unite and at the same time to disconnect people. Many modern hagglers of social networks and dating apps communicate in them as if playing a computer game (as with unreal characters), not too much delving into the problems of interpersonal relationships.
This doesn’t mean that they all practice cloaking, but being immature and not ready for real relations, they’re quite capable of “stopping the game” before it becomes a reality. Anyway, the “ghost for a ghost is a ghost,” as a friend of mine, moderator of a social network, joked.
Sometimes it’s a manifestation of cowardice before relationships in reality. The girl/guy chatted online, saw that he/she could be attractive, increased his/her self-esteem and disappeared into the whirlpool of the Internet. Actually, such people needed no more, they had already achieved everything.
Or it happens that a lady or a guy really wants to find someone for love and is glad to have good communication, but at the last minute they get scared (of deception, a hidden maniac ... etc) and flee (and online communication gives all the possibilities). So, whatever the cause of this or that case of cloaking, it is most often about the fear of real society, serious love affair, lack of responsibility, and partly lack of respect for people around. Will “cloaker” ever be ashamed? We can’t know. But the one who’s experienced cloaking on him/herself needs to somehow deal with all this.
How to avoid becoming a victim of cloaking?
You’ll undoubtedly never become a victim of cloaking, if you don’t communicate in social networks and don’t meet people online. But this is very unlikely. Unfortunately, it’s rather difficult (in contrast to cases with financial fraud or blackmail) to determine the upcoming cloaking on any grounds.
The only thing that will help you to keep your nerve cells is the “easy” perception of online communication that has started up until the moment when your first date takes place live. You’re fascinated by a new acquaintance? But don’t forget that online flirting as an online game may never get into real life. Don’t rely on it too much hope until you see each other in person.
However, (in the case of a long-lasting online romance), if your virtual beauty in every way excuses from the real date, it is very possible that as soon as you insist on it – she may suddenly disappear. Simply, there is a type of people who don’t want a real relationship, they prefer endless online chat. Think about whether you need it.
You’re cloaked, what should you do?
If it so happened that you were cloaked, then you are most likely disappointed and upset. The one who seemed such a suitable partner played a cruel joke with you. It’s quite natural that you would like to hunt down your cloaker and express your offense or find out why he/ she did this.
Alas, it is almost impossible. Even if you succeed in something, the mentioned person may complain about interfering with personal space or stalking. Then you can get no longer virtual, but real trouble.
If a girl is frightened that relationships develop too quickly and disappear, then if you are calm and adequate, she may change her mind and appear on the network with time. Or perhaps you were unlucky and you met a cowardly and irresponsible person who’s unable to answer for his/her actions.
Want to continue contacting with such a character? I'm sure not. Perhaps you are faced with a “player” just wanting to have fun virtually. Such people are not worth your time or your suffering. Just be distracted by chatting with friends, a good movie, something that brings you joy and move on.
Yes, cloaking is a real online dating problem. Many people have lost their time and nerves. The only thing that can be said in conclusion: do not let irresponsible and immature adventure-seekers make you suffer, love yourself and those who are worth it! Be happy!